We're going through changes.

I was really excited for going home for Christmas this year. To spend the day with my family; my parents, my nan, my sister and my two nephews. I am still really looking forward to going home for Christmas, but this year it'll just be four of us as my Sister is having Christmas at her house with her boys this year, so it's gonna feel so strange to spend Christmas day without them. We'll go around to see them in the morning to give presents and see them and everything as usual, so I'll get to see them but it's going to feel super strange knowing they're not coming around. Sometimes it's really hard being 20 in my house. I can guarantee that my Mum, Dad and Nan are all going to fall asleep after Christmas dinner and I'll be left to watch bad television by myself. It's nice when my nephews are here because I get to be with them when everyone's fallen asleep. Having kids around always makes occasions better, it's just like a hole has been filled and your life is complete. This is why I know I want to be a Mum one day; I hate the thought of a life without children in it. Maybe that's what's behind my desire to be a teacher too. I just love children, they're so innocent and have so much to learn and I admire their bravery and courage. Christmas this year is going to be spent in reflection of all the time I've had with my nephews and how lucky I've been to have such a beautiful family. I hope one day I can give my parents some grandchildren, my nephews some cousins and my sister some nieces or nephews. Feeling especially broody today, do forgive me.

Lauren x

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited.

"If you've ever had a broken heart, you're about to remember it right now" - James Corden before Adele's performance of 'Someone Like You' at the 2011 Brit Awards.

Fourteen words have never hit me so hard. But not as hard as eight words. Eight little words.

'I have cancer, and I want to die.'

I want to send my love to anyone who has had to suffer through cancer, who is suffering or will suffer. I hope with all my might that if you haven't, that you never have to. I can't speak from first hand suffering, but I can speak from someone who has watched someone they love become a victim of it. I also got to see them kick cancer's arse. So don't lose hope. Never give up. Keep smiling. Keep strong.

Lauren x

Let's.

Let's go for a walk. Let's have a picnic. Let's people watch on a bench with a coffee. Let's listen to music and pretend the people around us are in a music video and make up a story about the people who walk by. Let's watch films all day and not leave the bed. Let's drink loads of tea and not get drunk. Let's get drunk and do really bad impressions of people. Let's bake. Let's plant something. Let's hold hands. Let's watch Marvel and DC and pretend like we know all there is to know about comic books. Let's make fun of each other then kiss it out. Let's build a leaf pile and jump into it. Let's make rice snowmen. Let's paint something. Let's read a book aloud to each other. Let's fall asleep top and tail. Let's fall asleep on the floor. Let's fall asleep outside. Let's get a tattoo that probably wont mean anything to us when we're old but it'll be fun while it lasts. Let's go to the zoo. Let's go punting in the freezing cold with blankets and hot water bottles. Let's kiss each others bodies all over; the bottom of my back. Let's pretend that we've never met and meet up like it's the first time. Let's watch a foreign movie without the subtitles and make up what they're saying. Let's learn a dance. Let's make a really rubbish film. Let's buy a disposable camera, go somewhere new and take lots of photos then get them developed. Let's go see a landmark we've never been to. Let's play video games all day. Let's listen to music really loudly. Let's listen to music really quietly. Let's have a thumb war. Let's playfight. Let's make a pillow and duvet fort. Let's watch a scary film on mute with subtitles. Let's watch a kids film muted with a scary films sound. Let's write a song. Let's get really muddy then share a shower. Let's shower in the dark. Let's swap lives for a day. Let's go to the train station and get on the next train, no matter where it's going. Let's have an adult sleepover. Let's hire a bouncy castle for the day/night and sleep on it. Let's just do lots of things. Let's be happy.

Lauren x