IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD. YOU ARE IMAGINING THIS PAIN. YOU ARE NOT ILL. NOPE. NOT AT ALL. NOT ONE LITTLE BIT OF YOU IS ILL MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE MENTAL DISORDER COUNSELLING FOR YOUR DELUSIONS.
This is the response my mum was met with when she was undergoing investigations about her illness. Why was she constantly in pain? Why did she ache all day and all night in places she didn't know could ache so bad? Why couldn't she sleep?
My mum has fibromyalgia and it's a chronic illness that causes the most painful muscle spasms, cramps, stabbing pains and fatigue, along with a massive list of other things I wouldn't want to scare you with. It usually goes hand in hand with other illnesses such as vertigo, depression and anxiety.
I did an interview with my mum about her illness if any of you want to take a look at first hand experience of fibromyalgia.
How long have you had fibromyalgia?
15 years ago I started having the symptoms and no one could figure out what was wrong with me and why the symptoms were so diverse; fibromyalgia wasn't recognised back then. It wasn't until 5 years ago that I went again with constant pain and was tested by the doctor and asked questions on my heath and I was diagnosed. Unfortunately, because it hadn't been treated and left for so long it was worse than it could have been had I received help before.
How does it limit your daily life?
It's taken away my choice to work because I can't remember things properly as fibro causes memory loss, what the fibro community calls 'fibro fog', and confusion as well as the pain simple tasks can cause. My social life was shot. Simple things such as washing your hair or painting your nails are limited and you have to do things on a good day. You can't plan ahead; you don't know what severity your pain is going to be each day along with the things that go with fibro such as depression, anxiety, agoraphobia and fatigue. It causes me great frustration because it limits what I can do with my day and having to rely on others and constantly ask for help makes you feel ashamed because you're no longer the person you were. I can't leave the house by myself unless I'm having an extremely good day (once in a bloody blue moon) and some days I can't even get out of bed due to the pain in my body. When I do go out of the house I have to use a stability tool to help me and this varies on my waves of pain; fairly good days - walking stick, bad day - walker, very bad day - wheelchair.
What can cause fibromyalgia?
It can be brought on by mental or body trauma; a physical accident from years before can cause the onsets of fibro but also emotional trauma. My fibro was accelerated by being put into an induced coma due of anaphylaxis and since then my body has never regained it's full potential. There is no cure for fibromyalgia. It's just trying to find the comfort and pain relief that works for you as every case is different and needs to be treated differently.
What is fibromyalgia for you?
It attacks every muscle in your body and every nerve ending causing extreme spasms and has been known to cause skin conditions such as the feeling of crawling skin and can increase sensitivity to chemical products. Your senses are affected where your ordinary smells that you can enjoy can suddenly make you feel ill like strong perfume or even the smell of your favourite food or certain washing products. I'm in constant pain, every minute of the day I'm feeling pain and if I seem like I'm not then it's just a lower amount of pain, it's constantly there. Fibromyalgia is like carrying ten full shopping bags in each hand up a hill and steps, that ache when you do that comes from menial tasks like loading a dishwasher.
What remedies are there for fibro?
I have to take morphine which causes me to be extremely sleepy and I have to take regular naps along with anti-sickness tablets because my morphine dose is so strong it makes me feel sick as a dog, particularly because I have other medication that I have to take that doesn't sit quite well with the morphine. As I'm aware there are two drugs that are prescribed to sufferers of fibro but I have never been offered them. Some holistic remedies work some people people, physical remedies help for others but I'm yet to find one which really helps, (a legal one anyway).
What would you say to anyone reading this who suffers or think they may suffer with fibro?
The most important thing to anyone who has fibro is having a family that understands you and your illness. many people are labelled as lazy due to other people's ignorance to it. Try not to let it get you down, you will have very dark days but there are always good days as well and make the most of those and they can be rare. If you think you might have fibro, go to your doctor and if you're not satisfied with that answer get a second opinion, ask to be referred to a rheumatologist. Don't wait ten years like I had to.
Any last words?
Take each day as it comes and don't punish yourself for not being well.
Lauren x
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