Teenage years.

Tomorrow I'll be turning 20 and i was just recapping in my mind all my teenage years and how I'll never get them back, they're gone and that's a big part of my life out of the way now. Within the next decade I may have children and be married, how scary is that? So while I was thinking of my teenage years I tried to think of the most memorable thing I can think of from each age and it was scary how little I remember specifically about being a teenager. From the age 13-15 I don't remember much apart from the group of friends I had and what i was about. From the age 16-19 however are another story.

13-15.
When I was 13 I had my first 'proper' boyfriend. Awh. I remember being extremely self-conscious and even more self-doubting which went well with the 'emo/grunge/pretend-to-be-scene' look we were all going for.
When I was 14 I started to become an individual and not just part of a group. I knew who my friends were and i had a lot of them, but I knew who really counted. I was happy being 14. I had boyfriends 2 and 3 when I was 14. I stretched my ear and got my nose pierced at 14 and still have them now, and it's scary to think that tomorrow that'll be 6 years ago. Holey moley.
15 is a strange age to remember for me; it's like a transitional year because you're already a teenager but you've had  couple years practise at that and now you just wanna be 16 because it's one of those 'milestone' ages. I remember feeling 15 and being 15. Boyfriend 4 came in this year and I felt really grown up; little did i know that this was never going to go anywhere and I wish I knew that then how I do now because it would have saved a lot of time and tears. I liked being 15, it was fun to be 15 but the only downfall was people looked at you like you were still a young child when you were 15 but you felt really grown up. Now that I'm (almost) 20 I'm glad they did. Childhood is something you can't get back and I'm glad I got to have mine.

16-19.
Being 16 was my favourite time. My 16th birthday party was the most memorable thing from this age and people still talk about it now. i had a band that I was friends with playing in my garden and a shed loads of people at my house, I'm surprised they all fit to be honest. At 16 I met boyfriend 5 and he is still in my life. No one could have written how the next three years would have panned out but life is life and it has it's ways of making you stronger.
Being 17 is another transitional year and an extremely stressful, sad, happy, scary one. Being 17 is when my world got rocked and turned upside down and it has never been the same since. January of age 17 was one year in a relationship, my longest ever (still) relationship. It was also the year I took part in my first Race For life with three other lovely ladies and we raised a hell of a lot of money for Cancer Research UK in honour of someone so dear to us.
The year you 'become an adult'. 18 years old never made sense to me; you become an adult in the eyes of the law, you can drink and smoke, you can watch explicit content online and in cinemas yet you are still a teenager. You are still a teen. EighTEEN never made sense to me and it brought a lot of anxiety, depression, confusion and pain. But with all that I learnt confidence, happiness, clarity and strength. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger and I know it's so cliche but it's so true. I gave blood for the first time when I was 18 and I'm still a regular donor.
I'm 19 now and it's been a great year. I mean it's had some bumps but it's been an overall good year. I got my first full time job at the cinema and I've been there a year now. I've found a happiness in myself that I used to have when I was 16. I'm happy being 19, I hope 20 brings a happy year too.

To anyone else who shares my birthday, have an awesome day and just to let you know: you are awesome. I'm talking to the Ruth Thompson's, the David Perham's, the Tom Lee Jones', the Tom Hardy's and the Prince Harry's out there. Happy Birthday you guys.

Lauren x