Sometimes I think about when I'll spawn miniature versions of myself.

It's kinda hit me recently that in a few years people will start to ask me when I'm gonna have kids and stuff. My friend recently bought a car and she purposely bought a family friendly car because her insurance will last four years and she 'might have a family in that time'. This terrified me. I might have a baby in the next ten years and that's crazy talk. Amazing talk. But, crazy talk. I've been unimaginably broody because of all the talk of babies around me. My amazing friend Amy has a little girl called Carrie and she's such a cool kid, like, if I have a little girl when I eventually get round to spawning miniature me's, then I want my kid to be similar to her. Seeing pictures of Amy with Carrie has made me feel like I really can;t wait for that connection. THEN I heard Beyonce's song for Blue Ivy and did a bit of a cry. I realised just how many of the girls in my year at school have had babies and are living adult lives while I sit in my room in halls wondering what I should have for dinner: pot noodle or chicken noodles. I'm so scared of growing up (growing up meaning in the next ten years) and finding out that I'm infertile. It's one of my biggest fears and I feel so much sympathy for those who can't have children. I'm super close to my mum and I can't wait to have that connection with someone that I made or chose. I'm actually looking forward to being depended on, but for now I'll stick to chicken noodles. I'm 20 now, when I graduate I'll be 23, but then I want to do a PGCE after that so I'll be 24 so I'll be almost halfway through my twenties. Right when people generally start having kids. Bah. Don't get me wrong I'm all for not having kids if you don't want them, your lie your choice you know? But I do want children when I'm older. But that's just it; when I'm older.

Hats off to those of you who have kids young, hats off to you who don't have kids at all, hats off to those of you who who love and cherish your children.

Lauren x